


Uniform and a Salute

by boneswrites



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Deployment, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Hurt Steve McGarrett, Husbands, Kissing, M/M, Major Character Injury, Military, Ohana, SEAL Steve McGarrett, Smut, Steve's Guitar, The Navy - Freeform, The kids try to cheer up Danny, Worried Danny Williams, supportive team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12099159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boneswrites/pseuds/boneswrites
Summary: Steve McGarrett is happy and he has everything he ever needed. A wonderful husband and two beautiful children, his job is good and he hasn’t felt this content before. But you see, he hasn’t retired from the Navy. And when they call him, saying he’s been reactivated and is being shipped out, it turns the life of the McGarrett-Williams family upside down.Steve fights with everything in him to go back home to his family. Danny fights just as hard to keep life going for him and for the kids without going crazy with worry. Steve is more careful, but nonetheless is still the same self-sacrificing doofus that he always has been.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I've been thinking about the idea of Steve getting deployed and how he and Danny and the kids deal with it and how it would affect them and thus, this work has been born! I'm still not sure how long it's going to be chapter wise but I have an idea of the events and how everything will unfold. I love this family a lot. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

“How long?” Danny’s voice quivers and he tries to keep a hold of himself.

Steve doesn’t reply— _can’t_ reply. Instead, he’s leaning against the back of the armchair, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“ _How long_ , Steve?” Danny presses, biting down on his tongue. 

“I don’t know,” Steve finally speaks, his voice small and hushed, so unlike his big and loud personality. It’s quite displacing. “They said anywhere between six months to a year, they can’t be sure.”

A _year_. A whole goddamn year. Steve could be away on this mission, in a war-torn country for an entire _year_. 

Danny’s head starts spinning and he suddenly needs to sit down. He somehow manages to make it to the armchair Steve is leaning against in one piece. He lets himself fall on the soft cushion, resting his elbows on his thighs and bowing his head into his hands. Danny presses the heels of his palms against his closed eyelids until he sees bright flashes of white. 

_This can’t be happening, this has to be a dream, this can’t be happening_ is all of what’s running around in Danny’s head.

“They can’t—” Danny’s voice breaks. “They can’t do this, they can’t just call you out of the blue like this, they—”

Steve walks around the chair and plops down on the couch, sitting on the nearest spot to Danny. Their knees brush against each other and Danny lowers his gaze.

“Actually they can. I didn’t retire from the Navy, so technically they can switch my status to active at any time they want,” Steve explains.

“ _Technically_ ,” Danny spits, “they shouldn’t be doing this because you’re married and you have two kids and a husband who need you. Not to mention the task force that _you_ are leading.”

_They_. Danny and Steve had woken up just three hours ago, they were happy and content, waking up the kids and getting them ready for school with no knowledge that their lives will be turned upside down in a matter of hours. Danny took the kids to drop them off at school, and it wasn’t even ten minutes after they left the house that Steve got the call from the Navy. 

His status had changed and he was immediately put on active duty. They couldn’t explain much over the phone but they told him to report to the base at 1300 hours for a full debrief of his mission. How long it would take? They said six months to a year, but Steve knows no one can put a time limit on these missions.

Danny had known something was wrong the moment he walked through the door and saw Steve’s pale face. And Steve wouldn’t look Danny in the eyes, either. It meant it was really bad.

Not knowing how to approach the topic, Steve had just blurted it out. _The Navy called. They’re shipping me out_. 

Steve gives Danny a small sad smile. “That’s not enough for them to not do this. So many of the soldiers have families, and as for Five-0, you’ll probably end up running it until I get back.”

“ _No_. I don’t want to run Five-0, you’re doing a great job yourself. God, this isn’t fair,” Danny runs his fingers through his hair. 

“I know but there’s nothing I can do. I swore an oath, that when I’m called upon, I answer. It’s my duty,” Steve takes Danny’s hand into his own.

“But you also have a duty here, to me and to Grace and Charlie,” Danny levels.

Steve closes his eyes, his features straining. Danny knows how hard this is on Steve, and he really doesn’t want to make it any harder on him but he’s just so _frustrated_ and hurt. He doesn’t blame Steve, right now he’s blaming the world. 

“The last thing I want to do is leave you guys,” Steve whispers before opening his eyes, glassy with unshed tears. “But I need you to understand, Danny, it’s out of my hands.” 

Danny nods, closing the distance between them and resting his forehead against Steve’s. They both close their eyes, cherishing this moment they have together and breathing each other in. They can’t bring themselves to think about the _what if_ because the _what if_ is not an option. Steve is going to be fine, he’s going to come back to them and there isn’t any other possible outcome aside from that.

Still, something deep within Danny nags at him. He knows how quickly things can go wrong. He knows that it takes a second for someone’s life to be flipped upside down. It happened to him before. It happened to Steve before. They can’t, under any circumstances, let that happen to their kids, too. 

“Steve,” Danny whispers.

“Yeah, Danno?” 

“Come back to us,” Danny pleads.

Steve leans in to kiss Danny, a simple, tender touch of lips. Comforting, promising. “I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you and Grace and Charlie.”

Steve doesn’t promise, and Danny knows that he can’t. So he takes Steve’s words to his heart and buries them there, keeping them safe, knowing it’s the best the SEAL can offer. 

“We’re going to need to tell the kids,” Danny reminds Steve.

Steve closes his eyes, his heart already aching even more at the thought of telling Grace and Charlie that he has to go, that he has to go fight. He can’t bear thinking about the hurt that would show on their face, can’t bring himself to think about the tears that will be shed, all four of them holding each other in a desperate attempt to stay together. But Steve knows that after all of that, he’s going to have to go. And there’s no telling if he’s going to come back. 

Steve and Danny don’t go into work. Danny calls Chin and tells him he and Steve need the day, and Chin, clearly noticing something isn’t right, tells them to take all the time they need. He knows they’ll explain when they can. So Chin doesn’t press Danny, and for that Danny is grateful. Truth be told, Danny isn’t very sure what he would have told Chin if he had asked, seeing as Danny was still having a little trouble wrapping his head around what he was told.

Instead of using words, Danny extends his hand to Steve and after a moment, Steve latches his hand onto his husband’s and Danny is walking them up the stairs and steering them towards their bedroom.

And Steve gets it. They let go of each other’s hands for the mere seconds it takes them to crawl back into bed, and Steve immediately draws Danny into his arms. Danny settles his head over Steve’s heart, his strong steady heartbeat echoing through his body. He closes his eyes, saving it to his memory, something he knows he’ll need to refer to a lot when Steve goes. Steve is _alive_ , and that notion is going to be Danny’s motivation for the foreseeable future. Until Steve comes back.

They know each other well, too well sometimes, so Steve absolutely knows what’s going through Danny’s head in this moment. Also possibly because the same things are going through his head, too.

“I’ll call as much as I can, whenever I can,” Steve speaks in a hushed voice. 

Danny nods, not quite finding his voice to reply.

A few seconds later, Steve feels drops of water landing on his t-shirt and he knows that Danny is crying. His heart breaks even more.

“Oh, Danno,” Steve whispers, tightening his hold on Danny’s shoulder, placing a hand in Danny’s hair and moving to kiss the top of his head. 

Danny speaks a few seconds later, clearing his throat to loosen the imaginary lump there. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—” he sniffs. “It’s just hard to think about waking up in this bed alone, your side empty and cold.”

Steve runs his fingers through Danny’s fluffed hair.

“Actually, scratch that, the kids are probably going to sleep next to me every night until you come back,” Danny corrects himself. 

“I count on you all to keep the bed warm for me,” Steve smiles a little.

“Better get all the crying out of the way before we tell the kids, huh?” Danny lets out a wet chuckle. 

They stay like that, lying together in bed, pretty much glued together until it’s time for Steve to get ready for his debrief. He reluctantly gets out of bed and Danny watches as Steve pulls out his Navy uniform from the back of the closet, where it was supposed to stay. Don’t get me wrong, Danny is very proud of Steve, more than proud for everything he did and everything he survived and that he came back stronger. But the thing is, Danny had settled on the thought that Steve was finally _his_ , and the kids’, and the idea of sharing Steve with the Navy never really settled well in Danny’s gut. He was already worried about his husband while he was still standing in front of him, tangible and breathing under his touch, not miles and miles away, seeing each other on a screen over crappy connection. 

“You’re thinking too much again,” Steve observes, breaking Danny away from his haze.

“Sorry,” Danny recovers quickly. “Did I ever tell you how hot you look in that uniform?”

“Been a while,” Steve blushes, bracing his palms against the mattress and leans in to kiss Danny. 

Steve looks in the mirror one last time and satisfied, he turns to face his partner. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Danny nods, watching Steve walk out of the bedroom and a few minutes later, the front door opens and closes. 

And Danny is already feeling an empty hole instead him grow. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny tell the kids about Steve's deployment. Steve has a heart-to-heart with Grace. A bonfire with marshmallow roasting and a surprise happen. And also cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I love the response to this work and I wanted to get the second chapter out as soon as I could. It's a little longer than the first chapter and I have more in store! I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Danny was pacing in the living room. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. He had finally managed to get out of bed about twenty minutes after Steve left for the base. He told himself he should start seeing what they’re going to have for dinner while he awaits his husband’s return. But upon walking into the kitchen, Danny froze, eyeing every corner and he suddenly couldn’t ignore of how much of Steve was everywhere. And he really didn’t want to, but he found his mind wandering to how every single part of this house reminds him of Steve.

So, yeah, starting to work on dinner was a lost cause. Instead, Danny retreated on the heels of his feet, and found himself staring at the many framed pictures hanging on the wall. A candid of him and Steve and the kids on the beach taken by Kono. Him and Steve on their wedding day. A selfie of the entire family taken by Grace, all of them with wide smiles on their faces. 

Danny’s heart sunk a little more the longer his eyes stayed on the pictures. He sighed, breaking the contact only to start pacing back and forth. After what felt like a lifetime, Danny finally hears the jingling of keys on the other side of the door.

Steve walks in, his eyes moving to meet Danny’s wide ones and it’s one of those rare moments when Danny just can’t seem to read his husband’s eyes.

Danny swallows. “What did they say?”

Steve sighs, moving to the couch and falls backwards, loosening his tie.

After a moment, Danny joins him. Without a word, he wraps his fingers around Steve’s hand.

“They uh…it’s just as I expected, they can’t really put a time limit on how long I’ll be gone,” Steve finally says. 

Danny slowly nods.

“Hell, they didn’t even brief me on the entire thing. They just gave me what they call sneak peeks. They’re so worried about the information getting out and us losing the leverage that we have, so they just gave me a summary and they said they’ll tell me more when we get to wherever it is we’re getting,” Steve explains.

“Wait, even _you_ don’t know where you’re going?” Danny’s eyes go wider.

Steve shakes his head. “No clue.”

“Okay, that definitely isn’t making me feel any better,” Danny blows out. 

“If I wasn’t anxious before, well now…”

Danny lets go of Steve’s hand only to have it wrap around the back of the brunet’s neck, momentarily running his fingers through the short hair there and then gently pulling Steve in for a lingering kiss.

Steve immediately opens up to Danny, and they both pour everything they’re feeling into each other, the worry, the love, the silent promises, and it’s laced with passion and longing that hasn’t even started to take place. 

“Go change and I’ll fix us a snack,” Danny suggests when they break apart.

“I’m not really hungry,” Steve admits.

“How about a beer instead?”

Steve chuckles. “That sounds better.”

Danny quickly kisses Steve again and watches him walk up the stairs. 

Danny is sitting exactly where he was when Steve walks back downstairs dresses in sweats a tshirt, expect there are two open bottled of chilled beer standing on the table in the middle of the living room.

Steve sits next to Danny, reached out for one of the bottles and clings it to Danny’s when the Jersey man lifts his. Steve takes a long gulp, enjoying the coldness against his dry throat and lets Danny settle against his chest.

“I want to stay like this forever,” Danny whispers.

Steve kisses Danny’s forehead. “Me too, Danno.” 

“God, it’s going to be so weird without you.”

“I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“When do you leave?” Danny asks.

Steve swallows. “Five days.”

Danny tries to repress the shudder than runs through his body. Five days, five more days is all he and the kids get to spend with Steve and they might be apart for an entire year after. One hundred and twenty more hours. 

“You come back to us, Steven John McGarrett.”

*****

 

They stayed like that until it was time to go pick up the kids from school. Wanting to spend as much as he could with Grace and Charlie, Steve offered to go. And Danny didn’t argue. Part of him was also glad Steve was bringing the kids home, because he knew that Grace would take one look at his face and she’d immediately know that something was wrong. Danny, after all, wore his heart, his emotions on his sleeve and also in his features. Steve, on the other hand, could control which emotions showed on his face. It took a while for him to be able to open up his heart and talk freely about how he felt, especially since he was raised to do the complete opposite, but he still didn’t show as much emotion as Danny did. At least, not without controlling it.

Danny was absolutely sure Steve greeted Grace and Charlie with a wide smile and Charlie ran into Steve’s arms while Grace caught up and gave him a tight hug. They’d get into the car and drive home, Steve asking the kids about their day and talking about what they want to have for dinner. They wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong, or that their lives were about to change. And Danny wasn’t exactly sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

Danny’s heart starts beating faster in his chest when he hears the car pull up. His first thought was to disappear, and not entirely sure how he’s going to look his children in the eyes. Quick on his feet, he retreats into the kitchen, praying Steve is going to get the hint and take action.

Danny hears Charlie’s little voice, and he assumes he’s continuing a story he’s telling Steve because from what Danny hears, it doesn’t make any sense. But Steve laughs, so it must make sense to him. Danny wonders how many more times he’ll get to hear Steve’s laugh. He shakes his head, expelling the thought completely. _Steve is going to be fine_. 

“Where’s dad?” Grace speaks up.

“He could be outside, why don’t you two go change and I’ll go get Danno,” Steve replies.

Grace nods, leading her brother up the stairs and once Steve hears their bedroom doors close, he steps closer to the kitchen.

“You’re not outside,” Steve observes.

“And how did you know that?”

“Sliding door is closed. You like to keep it slightly open if you’re outside in case the kids call out for you so you’d hear them, it’s a habit of yours,” Steve says, walking to Danny and wrapping his arms around him. 

Danny sighs, leaning into Steve’s embrace and his arms go around the SEAL’s waist.

Steve runs his hand soothingly up and down Danny’s back, and a satisfied hum escapes Danny’s lips.

They remain like that until they hear one of the bedroom doors opening, and then the other and then footsteps on the stairs. Danny walks out first, Charlie breaking into a smile when he sees him.

Danny puts on his best brave face. “Hey, Charlie-boy,” he greets, picking up the young boy and kissing his cheek.

“Hi, Danno,” Charlie replies, wrapping his arms around Danny’s neck.

Danny puts Charlie down a few moments later and gives Grace a hug, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “Hey, monkey.”

“Hi, daddy,” Grace kisses Danny’s cheek, returning the hug. “Is everything okay?”

Danny winces internally, of course Grace will realize something is up even with Danny trying to make it seem like everything was fine. She’s far too smart for her own good, and Danny can’t really compete with that. He’s proud of the young lady she’s growing up to be, but sometimes he wishes she could stay young, and that he would be able to protect her from everything. But the truth is, there is much he can’t protect her from and it breaks his heart.

Danny turns to Steve, _now?_

Steve nods. “How about we all sit on the couch and talk for a bit?”

Grace’s eyes go wide a little with the knowledge that she was right and she follows Steve’s suggestion. Steve sits on the couch, Grace on one side and Charlie on the other with Danny sitting on the armchair. Danny lets Steve do the talking.

Steve clears his throat. “You guys know how before I started working with your dad, I was in the Navy, yeah?” He starts, trying to keep it simple for Charlie’s sake. “They asked me to back.”

“But you said no, right?” Grace immediately asks.

“It’s not that simple, Gracie. It’s complicated,” Steve replies.

“No! No, you can’t go,” Grace exclaims, her voice getting louder and his eyes starting to water. “They can’t do that, they can’t take you away from us.”

“I need you to understand something,” Steve says softly. “It’s not up to me, I do what they tell me, and believe me when I stay that I would have done anything to be able to stay here with you guys, but I have to go. Tell me you believe me,” he pleads. 

Instead of replying, Grace throws her arms around Steve’s neck and lets the tears flow down her cheeks. His arm comes up and holds her close, allowing her to let everything out. Charlie, on the other hand, is looking up at Steve with wide eyes, not quite comprehending what is happening. Steve knows he’s too young to really understand why Steve has to go, but Steve has to make sure that the little boy knows that even though he’s leaving, that he’s also coming back.

Grace lets go of Steve and she dashes for the stairs, tears still staining her cheeks and eyes already bloodshot. Danny moves to go after her but Steve’s hand stops him.

“Let me,” Steve decides, placing a kiss to Charlie’s hair before getting up.

Danny moves, filling Steve’s place at Charlie’s side and Charlie instantly holds onto his father. Danny wraps his arm around Charlie and pulls him into his arms.

“Papa is leaving?” Charlie’s small voice asks. 

_At least he got that_. “Yeah, bud, he has to go for a while but he’s going to come back.”

“Promise?” Charlie looks up at Danny with blue eyes identical to the detective’s. 

Danny swallows around the lump in his throat. “I promise,” he finally replies, kissing Charlie’s forehead. 

Steve stops at Grace’s bedroom door, he can hear her shuffling around inside, along with some hiccuping and sniffing. He raises his hand and taps one of his knuckles against the wood, and he waits.

“Gracie, it’s me,” he announces some thirty seconds later.

“Come in,” comes Grace’s reply a few moments after.

Steve twists the nob and steps into her room, once decorated with teddy bears and dolls, now posters of various boybands hang on the wall, along with pictures of her and friends, some even of her and Steve and Danny and Charlie. Grace is sitting on her bed, her back against the headboard and her legs crisscrossed and she’s holding a pillow to her chest. Some of the tears have been wiped away but her eyes are still red and puffy. 

He takes the few steps to reach her bed and sits on the edge of the mattress. 

“Are you mad at me?” Steve turns to face the teenager.

Grace rapidly shakes her head. “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at them for making you leave us.”

“Your brother is too young to understand this, but you’re grown up enough that I know you’ll understand. I gave an Oath to the Navy, Gracie, one that I have to abide by. I haven’t retired from the Navy yet, so they still have the right to call me for duty. Just like I have a duty to you and your father and brother, I have a duty to the military, it’s my responsibility,” Steve explains. 

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m going to be fine,” Steve assures her, reaching out to hold her hand.

“How long are you going to be gone?” Grace sniffs, trying to keep her eyes from watering again.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Mirroring her earlier action, Grace leaps forward and gives Steve a crushing hug that he happily welcomes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, babygirl,” Steve reciprocates, running a hand through Grace’s long, soft silky hair. “I love you so much.”

*****

They manage to eat dinner and a few hours later, all four members of the McGarrett-Williams family were cuddled up together on the couch, holding each other close and vaguely watching the moving screen in front of them. Instead, they were all taking in how it felt to be together, saving it all for when Steve has to leave. 

“I have an idea, how about we make a bonfire outside and roast marshmallows?” Steve excitedly suggests.

“Yeah!” Charlie jumps up, a big smile on his face.

Grace nods, a smaller smile spreads on her face but she isn’t crying anymore.

“I guess I’ll go make the fire,” Danny says with a playful sigh. 

“Yeah, good, there’s something I need to grab from upstairs,” Steve replies.

Grace and Charlie help Danny gather up what they need and they shuffle out into the backyard. Steve returns five minutes later, and the item in his grip makes Danny smile.

“Oh babe,” Danny says softly, pushing up on his tiptoes to kiss Steve’s lips.

“I figured it’s been a while, and it’s going to be a while, so…”

“It’s great, and the kids are going to love it.”

“Save some for me!” Steve calls out when he and Danny separate, walking towards the kids and the glowing fire.

Grace was roasting a bunch of marshmallows at once, and hanging over some to Charlie who has already managed to cover his entire chin and half his geeks with the gooey candy. Grace is more careful, but she also has some of the marshmallows stuck to her fingers.

Steve smiles at the sight, genuine and down to earth, sincere and innocent, and he’s already starting to miss them, to miss this.

“Who wants to hear some songs?” Steve winks, bringing out the guitar Danny bought him years ago from its case.

They all encourage him and clap their hands, Danny even gives him a swift whistle. 

Steve beams and strums the guitar, easily falling into a familiar rhythm and starting singing. He notices how the flames reflect in Danny’s eyes, making them bluer, how parts of Grace’s and Charlie’s hair are glittering golden, Charlie snuggling Danny’s side. The calm sound of the waves crashing, and the silver star filled sky make warms up Steve from the inside. It’s perfect, in every way, in every sense of the word, and he knows that this moment, kept safe and cherished in his memory, is what's going to bring him back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny tell the team. Steve tells Nahele. And Danny has something for Steve to take with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! All the feels are here. Like, all of them. It's angsty and fluffy and I hope you enjoy! Please forgive any mistakes! Feedback is always greatly appreciated!

The second hardest thing after telling the kids was telling the team.

Steve and Danny haven’t gone to the office since Steve got the phone call and everyone gave them their space and their privacy, knowing that the two men will come forward and share whatever it was they’re dealing with when they were ready.

Which is why Chin wasn’t really surprised when he looked up from the electronic table to see Steve pushing the glass door and striding in with Danny close, tightly holding hands. Upon realizing Steve and Danny are back, Kono and Lou immediately leave their offices and join the men in the main area.

“Glad you two didn’t forget about us,” Chin jokes, giving Steve a quick hug, and then Danny.

“You two were missed,” Kono chimes in, giving her own sets of hugs.

“We were gone for like, three days,” Danny reminds them.

“Felt longer, buddy,” Lou replies, patting Danny’s shoulder. 

“Do you guys have a second?” Steve asks. “There’s something we need to tell you.”

Feeling the shift in the playful conversation, and the seriousness in Steve’s voice, the three team members all nods, Chin and Kono exchange a quick glance before they all follow Steve into his office. 

Danny opts to stand by the door once it slides shut, Lou takes a seat in one of the leather armchairs in front of Steve’s desk while the cousins sit next to each other on the couch. Like Danny, Steve stays standing, but instead of looking at his friends, he’s eyeing the model of the USS Enterprise, the aircraft carrier he served on for many years, that’s sitting on his book shelf. The silence stretches, no one knowing where to start. 

Kono takes the initiative. “So…”

Steve sucks in a deep breath. This probably won’t be as hard as telling the kids, but it’s definitely going to be hard. “So…the Navy called.”

Someone’s breath hitches. No one knows whose. 

“So you’re…” Chin speaks around a dry mouth.

“Shipping out, yeah,” Steve finishes his sentence, finally turning around to face them. “Classified mission. I never retired so they switched my status to active, active immediately.” 

“Can they do that?” Lou asks, raising his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, and they did.”

“No chance you can tell us where you’re going?” Lou tries.

“I can’t tell you even if I knew,” Steve sighs.

“Wait, you don’t know where you’re going?” Kono’s eyes go wide.

Danny scoffs. “Yeah, welcome to my life.” 

“That information is tightly sealed, highly classified, they didn’t even give me all the details when I went in for the debrief,” Steve explains. 

“Did they at least tell you how long you’ll be gone?” Chin asks instead. 

“Well, no one can really be sure how long these missions will last but they said anywhere between six months to a year.”

Danny squeezes his eyes shut when he hears those numbers again. It hadn’t really sunk in, and Danny doubts it’s going to be sinking in any time soon. He predicts it will hit him when Steve is already gone, off to God knows where, God knows how many miles away. _Six months to a year_.

“So it’s a done deal…” Kono trails off.

Steve nods, crossing his arms over his chest with an unreadable expression on his face. But Danny knows that look all too well. It’s the look Steve gets when he’s trying to hold his emotions back, when he doesn’t want to let them slip, when he wants to keep them locked away.

Thinking that it’s absolute bullshit to be doing that right now, Danny takes the few steps to where Steve is standing and places his hand on the SEAL’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. A gesture of support, and assurance. _It’s okay to let go._

And by the looks on their friends’ faces, the tears building up, and in Kono’s case, anything rolling down their faces, Steve should feel this moment too. Even if it’s painful. 

Steve visibly relaxes at Danny’s touch, letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment or two before opening and there’s _so much there_. Worry, love, hesitation, concern, longing and Danny even sees a little of fear in there. But Steve is not alone, they’re all scared, they all want to stay in this office. Because stepping out means that Steve is leaving. And no one wants Steve to leave. 

Chin clears his throat. “When are you leaving?” 

“Two days,” Danny’s the one who answers.

That makes Kono cry harder. Without a word, Steve kneels in front of the young officer, taking one of her hands into his own and using his other hand to wipe away her fallen tears. She always looked up to Steve and she became something of another younger sister to him. But the tears Steve swapped away were quickly replaced by fresh ones.

“It’s going to be okay, I’m going to be okay,” Steve says.

Kono throws her arms around Steve’s neck and he pulls her in, his strong arms going around her in a piercing hug.

“I’ll do everything I can to come home,” Steve promises. And that’s the best he can give them. He doesn’t know that he won’t get hurt or worse. He doesn’t know that and they don’t know that either. They don’t voice it, but everything is thinking. They can’t voice it, because once they do, then it becomes real. It becomes something that could happen. Steve could get hurt or worse. So they let it linger around in their minds, possibly to haunt them, but as far as each one of them is concerned, Steve is going to be fine. Steve is going to come home.

Chin, Kono and Lou stagger out of Steve’s office some ten minutes later, their shoulders crumbled and heads held low. Steve sighs, falling onto the couch.

Danny sits next to him, allowing himself to feel Steve’s warmth seeping through their touching thighs, through their clothes. “They’ll be fine. They just…need time to adjust.”

Steve turns to look at Danny. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” Danny scoffs. “It still hasn’t sunk in and I’m already a mess and you haven’t even left yet.”

Steve reaches out, intertwining his and Danny’s fingers. “There’s one more person I need to tell.”

Danny nods. “Want me to come along?”

“I think this is something I need to do alone,” Steve decides.

Danny squeezes Steve’s hand. 

*****

Possibly tougher than telling the team, is telling Nahele, Steve realizes as he approaches Kamekona’s shrimp truck where Nahele works. They’ve grown very close in the past months, after Nahele’s father died, Steve made it a point to spend as much time as he could with the young man, and to take him under his wing. Danny and the kids love Nahele, too, and together, they’re a family. 

_Not anymore_ , a small voice at the back of Steve’s mind says.

Steve quickly shushes it as soon as his eyes catch Nahele’s, the young man breaks into a wide grip as he jogs towards the SEAL. 

“Steve,” Nahele says, stepping into Steve’s arms for a hug.

“It’s good to see you,” Steve replies, tightening his arms around Nahele, not wanting to let go.

They pull apart a few seconds later and Nahele studies Steve’s face. “What’s up?”

The kid always could read Steve pretty well. Steve sighs, looking around to find only two tables occupied. It wasn’t really time for any dinner, he realized. 

“You got a second?”

Nahele nods, gesturing to one of the table in the near end, more towards the open water. They walk over in silence and they sit across from each other.

Steve sets down the small bag in his hand on the table. “The Navy called me back to serve,” he announces after a minute of silence. Rip off the band aid, as they say. Still, it doesn't hurt any less.

“What?” Nahele’s eyes go wide. “You’re…you’re going to fight?”

“Not exactly. They called me back for a mission,” Steve explains. 

“But it’s still dangerous.” 

Steve nods. “Yeah, it is.”

“And you can’t say no? I mean, there’s people here who need you, that’s gotta count for something,” Nahele tries, desperation coating his voice.

“There’s nothing I can do about it,” Steve shakes his head. “The best thing to do is for me to go and finish the mission so I can come home, come back to Danny, and to the kids, and to you.”

Nahele turns to look at the endless blue, his eyes following as the waves crash, and then more waves crash, and it’s the exact feeling in his heart. Crashing. 

He stands up, walks closer to the water, his feet sinking in the sand and they feel heavy, so heavy Nahele almost stops walking. His entire body feels heavy, weighed down. It’s partly his worry over Steve, starting from now even though Steve hasn’t left Hawaii yet. However, the rest of why he feels weighed down, Nahele isn’t quite sure of.

Steve follows him, the contents of the bag in his grip without not saying a word, and he stands about a foot behind Nahele. 

“I lost my mother, I lost my father,” Nahele speaks over the gushing wind and pounding of the waves, very much like the current pounding of his heart. “I almost lost everything but you gave me a second chance. I can’t lose you too.” 

Steve closes the distance between them and wraps his arm around Nahele’s shoulder. “I promise, with everything in me, that I will do everything in my power to come home.”

Nahele nods, wiping away a fallen tear. 

“Here, I want you to have this while I’m away,” Steve extends his arm to Nahele.

Nahele looks down at Steve’s hand and then back up to look the SEAL in the eyes. “Are…are you sure? I mean…”

“I’m sure,” Steve nods.

In Steve’s hand is his famous 5O tank top, the one he always wears and is so dear to him. Not only because of it’s sentimental value, but because of what 5O means. Family. Ohana. 

With a little shaky hand, Nahele wraps his fingers around the fabric, and he feels even closer to Steve.

“It means a lot to me, but you mean a lot to me too, Nahele. Keep it safe for me, alright?” Steve smiles. More tears build in Nahele’s brown eyes and he engulfs Steve in a hug, the simple gesture making him feel so loved and appreciated and wanted. It takes his breath away.

“Take care of yourself, buddy,” Steve says.

“I will. Promise you’ll be careful,” Nahele replies. 

“I promise.”

*****

“How’d it go?” Danny asks as soon as Steve walks through the door.

“Shouldn’t you be in the office?” Steve asks instead, dropping his keys on the table next to to him.

Danny shrugs. “Our dear friends kind of kicked me out. Said to get home, spend as much time with you as possible.”

Steve chuckles. “For that, I am grateful.” He plops down on the couch next to Danny, who took the pillow and placed it in his lap. “It was hard,” Steve continues, answering Danny’s question. 

“How’d he react when you gave him the tank top?”

“He cried, and I might have cried, too. We talked, and I think he understands. Nahele also made me promise to call him as much as I can.”

“I knew he’d love it. And he and all of us, you’ll be doing a lot of phone calls, SuperSEAL.”

Steve nods. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on Nahele,” Danny assures his husband.

“If I know you at all, I think he’s the one who’s going to keep an eye on you,” Steve chuckles.

“Shut up,” Danny playfully rolls his eyes. 

Steve smiles and starts to shift in his place, eventually being in a position where his head was resting on the pillow on Danny’s lap and the rest of his body laid out horizontally on the couch. He looks up and sees Danny looking down on him, his piercing blue eyes and blond hair everything Steve can see. And this sight, right here, is everything Steve wants to see when he closes his eyes. It’s all he wants to think about in the weeks and months to come.

And then Danny is leaning down, the distance between them gone, and their lips meet, slow and steady and perfect. They savor each other, their touch and taste a comfort. A comfort for the endless hours they’re destined to spend apart. A comfort that will keep them warm during their nights apart. A comfort that they are stronger than what life throws their way.

*****

Steve slides into bed after tucking Charlie in and reading him four bedtime stories. Charlie had hugged Steve so tightly, not wanting to let go. Steve kissed the side of the little boy’s head and promised he’d be here in the morning. Steve threw the cover back on his body as the mattress dipped with Danny’s weight as he sat on his side. He stays like that for a minute or two, enough to make Steve raise an eyebrow in curiosity. 

“Danny? You okay?”

Danny nods.

Steve can tell his husband is looking at something in his hands, but he can’t see what. Before his mind can stray too far, Danny stands up and walks around the bed to sit down next to Steve, a picture in his hand. Steve’s eyes wander downwards when Danny is handing Steve the photo.

Steve takes it and it takes him a second to place the memory. Charlie’s birthday.

It’s a picture of all of them, right after Charlie blew out his candles and took a big bit out of the cake, smearing his mouth and chin and cheeks with the frosting. Nahele’s carrying Charlie in the picture, and Steve has one arm around Nahele and the other around Danny, who has his arm around Steve’s waist and the other around Grace’s shoulder, who’s standing on his other side. Chin, who was taking the picture, must have said something funny because all of them were laughing.

Steve’s eyes prickle with tears as he remembers. And he remembers how they all sat together in the living room after everyone went home, and helped Charlie open his presents. Steve remembers the boy’s excited giggles, and thrilled laughs as he opened each gift and realized they were all the toys he’d been asking Danny and Steve for. And most of all, Steve remembers how tightly Charlie hugged him that night. And that he fell asleep in Steve’s arms.

Danny takes hold of Steve’s arm and gives it a light squeeze, bringing him back from the past. “I want you to have it, to keep it close with you all the time, to help you come home to us.”

Unable to speak past the lump in his throat, Steve nods. Taking one more look at the photo before carefully setting it on his nightstand. And in a heartbeat, his lips capture Danny’s lips in a passionate kiss, Steve’s hand going to run his fingers through Danny’s golden hair while Danny, returning the kiss with as much heat and need, cups Steve’s jaw and trails his thumb over Steve’s stubbly cheek.

They become one, and they don’t want to let go of each other. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny's last night together before Steve's deployment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! A new chapter! I just...lots of smut awaits. Like, the entire chapter. I wanted to include the morning of Steve leaving but I like how this chapter ended. It's both angsty and fluffy, it just has lots of feels. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

“Alright, so the kids are asleep and…” Steve trails off as he steps in the bedroom, his eyes landing on Danny, who’s sprawled out on their bed, smirking at Steve. 

Danny, his beautiful, stunning, breathtaking husband, completely naked. His elbow is propped up on the mattress, the side of his head resting in his palm and he looks so relaxed and so _perfect_ Steve can’t wait to devour everything that is Daniel Williams. 

“…and Nahele settled on the couch, if the kids need anything, he’ll be there,” Steve manages to continue his previously forgotten sentence and moves his palm to lock the door, his eyes never leaving Danny’s. 

Steve starts to feel the tightness in his pants just from running his gaze up and down Danny’s body, he’s short but lean and muscular, and oh all the light skin and golden hair is already doing so many things to Steve. His mouth waters and cock twitches in his boxer-briefs at the thoughts of what the night holds for them.

“Like what you see, SuperSEAL?” Danny teases, the smirk on his face widening and his Jersey drawl heavy in the words. 

Steve wastes no time in shedding his clothes off, and Danny can swear it’s one of the fastest times he’s ever seen Steve do anything—which is saying a lot—and then Steve is suddenly settling between Danny’s legs, his hands on either side of Danny’s face and he latches his mouth to the detective’s. 

The kiss is hungry, messy, rough and desperate, teeth clinging together and Danny gives as good as he’s taking. Steve’s hardness slides by the inside of Danny’s tight, eliciting a moan from the blond. He breaks the kiss, both of them panting and breathing the same air and Danny places his hands on Steve’s shoulders.

“Hey, babe, hey,” Danny whispers. “I’m not going to disappear, I’m right here, let’s take it slow and gentle, we have the entire night.” 

“The entire night and a thousand other nights will never be enough,” Steve closes his eyes.

“I know, I know,” Danny replies, cupping Steve’s cheek and running his thumb over his cheekbone. 

“I need you so much, Danny,” Steve almost sobs, dropping his forehead to Danny’s shoulder.

Danny’s hand finds it’s way into Steve’s short hair—he had cut it the day before—and weaves his fingers swiftly through the brown strands. “I’ll give you everything you need,” Danny promises. 

Danny knows what Steve means, he knows that he means more than just sex in this moment, he knows that Steve means he needs Danny in every and possible way, that there is no world without Danny. And that goes straight to Danny’s heart and he swallows past the imaginary bump in his throat. 

“We’ll make this last, and we’ll remember it, one of the many things, and it will bring up back together,” Danny vows.

Steve lifts his head and looks into Danny’s blue eyes, full of sincerity and love and passion, and he leans down, closing the small distance between them and the kiss is softer this time, starting off as a simple press of lips and then Danny is easily parting for Steve, allowing him entry and the SEAL immediately pushes his tongue into his husband’s wet heat, and they both feel the electricity that surges through their veins when their tongues brush against each other. 

The intensity slowly increases, bit by bit, and they both let it. Unable to control their senses, wanting to touch and feel everything, but knowing they want to make it last at the back of their heads. 

Steve removes his mouth from Danny’s for the second it takes to place it over the juncture of Danny’s jaw and neck, finding the sensitive spot there and smiling at the hearty moan that escapes Danny’s parted lips. Steve licks and sucks right there, feeling Danny’s fingers tightening in his hair and he slowly starts to move downwards, pressing small kisses down his lover’s chest and without warning, wraps his lips around a hard nipple and sucks. Danny groans, the stimulation almost too much but he wouldn’t dare tell Steve to stop, and he fists the bedsheets under him with his free hand. 

Steve gives the nipple’s twin the same attention, enjoying what he’s doing to Danny. Steve is extremely hard it’s almost painful, but he holds on, wanting to go through it all, to give them even more memories to hold onto while he’s away. 

Steve pulls back, surveying Danny’s body and letting the other man’s pants seep into his ears.

“Why…why’d you stop?” Danny heaves, his hands clutching at Steve’s strong arms.

“God, Danny, you’re so fucking beautiful,” Steve purrs, his eyes roaming over his husband’s body, taking it all in inch by spectacular inch. He spends more time admiring Danny’s cock, hard and curved up against his stomach, it’s shorter than Steve’s but thicker, and it’s weeping pre-come onto Danny’s abs.

Steve smirks, and after making sure his and Danny’s eyes are locked in a heated gaze, he swirls his index finger through the silky fluid pooling on Danny’s chest and then lifts the finger to his lips, sucking it dry.

“Steve…oh _fuck_ , that’s so fucking hot,” Danny moans, digging his fingers into the back of Steve’s head to pull him down for a bruising kiss.

Still willingly goes with Danny’s tug, their lips and tongues mingling together and Danny briefly tastes himself on Steve.

“I want you so badly,” Danny whispers, his voice strained and on edge. 

“All in time, babe,” Steve replies, his own voice husky and heavy. 

Steve resumes moving downward until he’s eye level with Danny’s wonderful member. His mouth waters and his heart pounds with excitement. And also with a little longing, too. 

_Focus, Steve_.

Steve starts brushing his lips gently against the inside of Danny’s thigh while running his hand up and down his partner’s sturdy legs. He grins when Danny’s cock moves with approval of the close contact. 

“Steve, fuck, _please_ ,” Danny whimpers.

Steve wraps his fingers around Danny.

“ _More_ —” Danny starts but instead of finishing his thought, he sucks in a sharp breath when Steve takes the head into his warm, wet mouth. “Uhhhhh… _fuck_ …” Danny throws his head back against the pillow, his hand moving through Steve’s hair, urging him on.

Steve swipes his tongue across Danny’s slit, and he has to use his other hand to keep Danny down, to keep Danny from thrusting up into his throat. All with time. 

“Babe, yes, right there, oh God…”

Steve increases his suction, bobbing his head up and down and then hollows his cheek and relaxes his throat, moving down on Danny until his nose is nesting at the short hair at the base of Danny’s cock.

“Fuck!” Danny yelps, momentarily lifting his upper body off the bed to stare down at Steve settled between his legs. And it’s one of the most beautiful things Danny has ever seen. And then Steve hums and the vibrations go straight through the Jersey man. “Steve—fuck, Steve I’m close,” he warns. 

With one more suck, Steve pulls off Danny, gulping in air and looks at Danny with semi-watery eyes. “Not yet.”

Danny nods in agreement, dragging Steve up his body for a passionate kiss and Danny sneaks a hand between their bodies and takes a hold on Steve’s hot dick. The sensation of Steve’s weight in his hand and his own taste on Steve’s tongue almost drives Danny crazy. He pumps Steve’s cock a few times, and Steve breaks their kiss to release a moan into Danny’s neck.

“Feels so good,” Steve whimpers. 

“I want you inside me,” Danny whispers against Steve’s ear.

A shiver runs through Steve’s body at Danny’s declaration and his hands are tearing the nightstand drawer open and fishing for the bottle of lube. Locating it, Steve holds it and pulls his hand out.

They shift their positions, Danny spreading his legs wider and planting the bottom of his feet on the mattress on either side of Steve. Danny takes a deep breath when he hears Steve uncapping the lube and then feels Steve’s cold finger massaging the tight muscle of his entrance. 

“Deep breath and let it out, yeah?” Steve instructs.

Danny nods. Over the years, they slowly figured out what works for each other them and how to make everything of smoother. And this is one of Danny’s. Danny takes a deep breath and just as he starts exhaling, Steve starts pushing his index finger inside. One his entire finger up to the knuckle disappears, Steve stills, giving Danny a few moments to adjust.

Danny nods, and Steve pulls out his finger and pushes it back in again, massaging his way as he went in and out. He soon adds a second finger and starts scissoring Danny’s hole, simultaneously finding Danny’s prostate and applying pressure.

“Ah, fuck, yes,” Danny heaves, seeing stars all around.

Steve smiles, moving up Danny’s body as his fingers keep working to kiss Danny with red, swollen lips and then he closes his teeth around Danny’s bottom lip, licking along the bright flesh there.

Danny pushes down on Steve’s hand when a third finger joins the two and he tries spreading his legs even more, hoping to slightly speed up the process.

“Ah, slow down, Danny,” Steve says, kissing the inside of Danny’s thigh. 

“ _Please_ , I—”

“I don’t want to hurt you, we’re almost there,” Steve promises. 

Whatever was on Danny’s mind was forgotten when Steve’s mouth covered his own, moving his fingers inside Danny and hitting his sensitive gland every time. 

Danny groans when Steve retreats his hand but then excitement pools in his stomach when he realizes what that means. Steve pours some more lube in his palm and slathers his cock, groaning when the cold liquid collides with the hot flesh. He positions himself and takes a deep breath, aligning the head of his cock with Danny’s hole and ever so agonizingly slow, Steve starts pushing into Danny.

Under him, Danny’s breathing increases and he lifts his arm hold onto the headrest behind him. Once Steve is buried inside Danny, his balls flushed against Danny’s ass that he lets himself breathe out. 

It takes every inch of his control not to start thrusting and rocking into Danny, knowing that he’s much bigger than three fingers and if he does that, he would hurt Danny. And Steve never wants to hurt Danny, ever. 

It takes another minute or so until Danny nods, giving his husband the go-ahead to start moving. Steve pulls out halfway and goes back in. He repeats that a few times until he’s confident that he won’t hurt Danny and then he’s out of Danny’s body before he slams back home, a loud moan passing through Danny’s lips.

They easily find their rhythm and start rocking together, Steve nailing Danny’s prostate with each thrust. 

Steve moves one of his hands to hold onto Danny’s on the side of his face. “Open your eyes, Danny, look at me,” Steve whispers.

Danny obeys, and what he sees in Steve’s hazel irises is mirrored in his own, both blown with ecstasy, lust and hunger, but also love, and compassion, trust and little bit of worry, too. 

In moments like these, Steve and Danny let their walls come crashing down around them, they don’t hold anything back, they don’t let anything come between them, the level of intimacy takes their breath away. They’re both raw, everything out in the open, and they only allow each other to see them in this state. And it’s because there isn’t enough words to express how much love they carry for each other. 

Steve leans down to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss, swallowing the other man’s moans. “I love you.”

“I love you so much,” Danny replies, moving up for another kiss. 

They move together until Danny feels the familiar fiery blaze in his stomach, surging through his veins. “Fuck, Steve, I’m so close, _fuck_ …” Danny gasps.

“Come on, Danny, come for me,” Steve encourages. 

And Danny doesn’t need to be told twice. He lets go, something resembling Steve’s name on his lips as hot white stripes shooting out and landing on his chest and stomach while Steve keeps thrusting in and out.

Once Danny semi-recovers from the high and can move his limps, one arm goes around Steve’s back while the other wraps itself around the back of his head and Danny goes in for another kiss.

“I’m yours,” Danny whispers against Steve’s lips.

And that’s all it takes. With one more dive, Steve stills, unloading inside Danny and seeing fireworks explode against his closed eyelids. He’s aware of Danny running his fingers through his sweaty hair when he comes to, and speaking soft words against his forehead. Steve also realizes that he fell flat on top of Danny.

Danny kisses Steve’s forehead and grunts a little when Steve pulls out, immediately pulling Danny into his arms. 

“To more memories,” Steve speaks up.

Danny chuckles. “To more memories.” 

They lay together, a mess of tangled limps, pressing soft, lingering kisses to each other’s bodies.

“I should get a towel to clean up,” Steve says.

“Not yet,” Danny replies. 

“You don’t want that to stick, Danny,” he reminds him.

“In a bit,” Danny decides. 

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Danny settles his head over Steve’s chest and lets the strong, consistent beat of Steve’s heart rush through him. Danny closes his eyes, just for a moment or two, to drain out everything else and focus on Steve, the man in his bed, the love of his life, and to focus on the proof that he’s alive. Just for a moment…

*****

Danny startles away, not having realized that he dozed off to sleep. He quickly sits up, the entire room is dark, only lit by the moonlight shining through the flapping curtains, letting in a cool breeze every now and then. The space next to him is empty and Danny’s heart hammers in his chest and _no, no, no, Steve can’t be gone already, no_ …

But his heart calm down a little when he hears the bathroom door open and Steve’s footsteps approaching the bed. Danny’s sigh must have been louder than he thought because Steve speaks up.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Steve says.

Danny shakes his head and then realizes that it’s dark. “You didn’t. What were you doing?”

“Cleaning us up,” Steve gets into bed, wrapping an arm around Danny’s waist. 

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Just a couple hours, you were out like a light,” a small smile tugs at Steve’s mouth.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Oh no, it’s fine, I watched you sleep for a bit, you know how much I love watching you sleep,” Steve reminds his husband, bending down to kiss Danny’s lips.

“This isn’t going to be our last night together like this, right?” Danny asks, his voice trembling.

A small frown appears in Steve’s forehead and he shakes his head. “No, Danny, it isn’t our last night.” 

“I’m…scared,” Danny admits. 

Steve sighs, tightening his hold on Danny’s naked body. “I’m going to be fine, and I’m going to come home and we’ll have many, many more nights together.”

Danny nods, initiating another kiss, more heated and needy and soon it’s a full out make out session and they’re both getting hard again.

With one quick move, Steve is on top of Danny, his body supported by his arms on either side of the blond’s chest. A breeze blows at the curtain and the moonlight lands on Danny’s face, his blue eyes shinning brightly and he looks so beautiful, his eyelashes outlined perfectly and complexion pure and soft. Steve’s own eyes twinkle, a silver spark igniting in his brown irises. 

Steve lines himself up with Danny after applying some more lube on himself, and Danny is still loose from before offers no resistance as Steve guides himself in. 

They take their time again, making love in the moonlight. 

Later, after they’re done, Danny watches Steve sleep, satisfied and sated, until the sun begins climbing the horizon. 

And Danny’s heart starts to drop and tears fill his eyes when the first traces of yellow, orange and red tint the once black sky. Because he knows that soon, Steve is going to be gone. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of Steve's departure. And said departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The angst has begun! I love this family so much. Lots of hugs and soft kisses happen. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

The first thing Steve sees when he pries his eyelids open are Danny’s bright blue irises. He isn’t gone yet, but he already misses him. Of course Danny would be watching Steve sleep, eyes trailing over his chest, memorizing even more the steady rise and fall with each breath.

“Let me guess, you didn’t really sleep after round two,” it was more of a statement than a question really.

Danny caresses Steve’s cheek with his thumb. Steve’s going to have to shave. “You’re more important.” 

Steve wastes no time in cupping Danny’s face and capturing Danny’s lips in a breath stealing kiss. Danny chases after Steve when he feels the other man start to pull away, not really wanting to stop kissing him. And Steve gladly gives Danny what he wants, what they both want. Eventually, though, the needs for air overpowers their joined will and they separate, panting with their foreheads touching, and swollen lips. 

Steve takes a moment or two to glance at Danny, his usually neat blond hair disheveled, some stubble scattered over his cheeks and jaw, lips red and puffy and he looks absolutely perfect. Steve wishes he could take a picture, but he knows he’ll always see Danny whenever he closes his eyes. Steve can’t help himself, he kisses Danny again. 

Steve leans back, pulling Danny towards him and brushes his lips against the detective’s hair as Danny settles his head over Steve’s chest.

The sun is slowly rising, and Danny is dreading the yellow color as it spreads across the horizon. He just wants to freeze this moment, he and Steve, the kids in bed, Nahele in in the living room, he doesn’t want anything to change.

But then Steve is getting out of bed, trying to keep his posture but Danny sees how his husband’s shoulders fall as he walks to the bathroom. And then it dawns on Danny that the next time he gets into bed, he’ll be doing it alone. And Steve’s side, his pillow, will be long cold. 

The thought paralyzes Danny, and the entire world seems to stop except for the thudding on his heart in his ears. Then he hears the shower running, and he too gets out of bed. He’ll take any and every opportunity he has to get his hands all over the SEAL. 

They can hear Nahele and the kids downstairs by the time they’re done showering. It took them a little longer than usual, but they weren’t exactly in a rush to separate. Danny opts for sweatpants and a light cotton t-shirt while Steve contemplates whether he should wear his uniform now or wait. Deciding to wait, he puts on similar clothes to Danny. The detective watches his husband as Steve lays down the uniform on the bed, clean and pressed and ready. He he hesitates. He hesitates because _he_ isn’t ready. And whether he likes it or not, he’ll be putting on that uniform in less than an hour and he’ll leave. He really doesn’t like it. 

Lost in his thoughts, staring down at the articles of clothes, the one thing bringing him to reality is Danny’s arms that are wrapping around his waist. Steve immediately covers Danny’s arms with his own, leaning back into Danny’s chest and closing his eyes.

Because of their height difference, Danny ends up pressing his cheek against the SEAL’s strong back, feeling the muscle underneath the thin layer of cotton. 

“Everything is going to be fine,” Danny says, reading Steve’s mind. “We’re going to be fine, you just focus on safely coming back home and we’ll be waiting for you right here.”

Steve can’t speak past the lump in his throat so he nods instead, feeling Danny’s solid, strong frame behind him, supporting him, grounding him. A warmth he’s going to miss every second he’s gone, until he comes back. 

“Always remember that I love you,” Danny whispers.

“I love you too, Danno, so much,” Steve whispers back. 

They step outside a few minutes later, and Steve stops at the top of the stairs, he let’s Grace’s voice fill his ears, along with Charlie’s giggles and Nahele’s input here and there. Danny stops next to Steve, understanding, he takes the taller man’s hand in his own and gives it a light squeeze.

“You okay?”

Steve nods.

And together, they walk down the steps.

Charlie is the first to spot them, he immediately shoots out of his chair and runs towards his dads.

“Papa!”

Steve’s face breaks into a smile, wasting no time in opening his arms and letting the boy jump into them. “Charlie-boy! Good morning,” Steve replies. 

Charlie giggles.

Steve puts Charlie down when Grace approaches them.

“Morning,” she says, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist.

“Morning Gracie,” Steve kisses the top of her head and returns the hug. 

Nahele is next, but instead of a hug, Steve wraps his hand around the back of the young man’s neck and pulls him in, touching their foreheads together and closing their eyes.

“How was the couch?” Danny asks Nahele.

“It was fine,” Nahele replies. “I just really wanted to be here this morning.”

Steve nods, squeezing Nahele’s shoulder. 

“We waited for you guys to have breakfast,” Nahele announces. 

“Yeah!” Charlie exclaims and proceeds to tell Steve and Danny what they cooked.

Steve smiles at the little boy’s excited tone, waving his hand around as he speaks, his movements are almost the same gestures his father always does while he speaks and expresses himself.

“Is that right, buddy?” Steve says when Charlie stops talking to take a breath, ruffling his blond hair.

Charlie nods. “Promise!”

Danny chuckles.

“Come on,” Charlie takes Steve’s hand and leads them into the kitchen, everyone else following their lead.

Grace, Steve notices, it quieter than usual, leaving all the talking to her brother. Her eyes are sad, and he knows that she knows what this morning means, probably unlike little Charlie, who thinks it’s just another morning with his family. Leaving, Steve realizes, is going to be a lot harder than he thought. Not that he ever thought it was going to be easy. But now as his departure is just mere minutes away, it hits him that this is going to be oh so very hard. 

Charlie starts telling Steve about one of his science projects, and Steve, nodding along, keeps glancing over at Grace, who isn’t quite meeting his eyes. 

Charlie’s voice brings back Steve’s attention to him. “Can you help me with the project?”

Charlie, it seems, has forgotten that Steve is leaving. Not that anyone can blame the little boy, there’s just so much he can grasp and digest at such a young age. 

Not knowing what to say, or if he should tell Charlie he won’t be here, he turns to Danny for guidance. Before Danny can say anything though, Nahele speaks up.

“How about I help you with it, bud? We can go to the beach, work there and swim and collect seashells,” he suggests. 

Charlie’s eyes go wide, he loves the beach and collecting seashells is one of his favorite things to do. “Yeah!” 

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Nahele smiles.

Steve gives Nahele a grateful nod. He turns back to Danny and he immediately can read his husband’s eyes, _I’ll talk to him_. 

They try to act as if it’s just another morning for them, and they’ll soon drop the kids at school, go to work, pick them up and come home. But it’s not just another morning, because tomorrow morning, Steve will be gone. The knowledge of that hangs heavy in the air, no one speaks of it but it’s on their minds. 

Grace steps outside once their done, hugging the light cardigan she’s wearing closely and she watches the waves crash, remembering all the times she and Steve went swimming, since she was a little girl, when they played in the sand, that time they chased Danny around, going surfing together, and all it does is bring tears to her eyes. She doesn’t know when she’ll be able to do any of those things with Steve again.

She hears someone approach, probably Steve, yet she doesn’t move from her spot. All it takes is the taller man putting his hand on her shoulder and she instantly turns around, throwing herself into his arms. He reacts quickly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight, feeling the wetness on her face seep through his tshirt. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she says through her tears.

“Oh Gracie, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Steve replies, rubbing her back with his hand.

“I was trying…trying…”

“Trying to what?”

“Trying to imagine what it would be without you and I couldn’t. You’re always there, you’re always here and you won’t be anymore,” Grace sniffs. 

And if it’s even possible, Steve’s heart breaks even more. He kneels down, so he’s around Grace’s eye level and takes her hands into his own. “I’m always going to be here. Maybe not physically, but I’m always with you and your brother and your father. And you wanna know something else?”

“What?”

“Look at the moon. And know that I’m looking at the same one, we might not be seeing the moon at the same time, but it will help us feel closer,” Steve suggests.

Grace nods, and vows to herself to look at the moon every night before she sleeps. “We look at the same moon.” 

“You’re going to be fine, it’s going to take a while but you all will adjust and go on with your lives and time will fly and I’ll be back, as soon as I can.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Steve prays and prays that he does not break that promise. 

He and Grace walk back inside and by the tearstained face of Charlie, Steve knows that Danny spoke with him. Charlie immediately lunges forward, clutching at Steve’s legs. Steve extends his arms, hooking them under Charlie’s arms and pulls him up. 

Charlie’s arms go around Steve’s neck and his legs go around Steve’s waist and he holds on so tightly. Steve can hear Charlie’s sniffles and hiccups and he closes his eyes, running a hand over the boy’s hair and it takes everything in him not to start crying right then and there. 

After Charlie calms down, Nahele takes him from Steve’s arms and he holds onto the younger man. Steve and Danny retreat to their bedroom, Danny watching Steve as he changes. 

“You look so good in that uniform, babe,” Danny comments when Steve is done.

Steve smirks. “I knew you had a thing for the uniform.”

“I have a thing for you, but the uniform definitely adds to it,” Danny chuckles. 

Steve nods, walking towards Danny, neither of them breaking their eye contact. Steve looks directly into Danny’s blue irises for a few moments before closing the distance between them and claiming his husband’s lips in a bruising, breathtaking kiss. 

“Come back to us,” Danny whispers. _Don’t go._

“I’ll do everything in my power,” Steve replies. _Make me stay_. 

The next thing Danny knows, they’re standing at the door. Steve gives Grace and Charlie hugs and kisses, and they don’t want to let go of him. Wiping away a tear, Grace holds her brother’s hand. 

“I love you,” she says.

“Love you,” Charlie echoes, his voice low and small, a great contrast to his tone less than an hour before. 

“I love you guys so much,” Steve gives him a smile. 

And then it’s Nahele’s turn.

“I’m glad you’re here this morning,” Steve says.

“I’m gonna be hanging around here a lot, probably,” Nahele chuckles. 

“We should find an alternative than the couch then, because I know it’s not comfortable,” Danny speaks up. 

“Keep an eye on them for me, okay?” Steve chuckles.

Danny playfully rolls his eyes. “I’m the adult here, thank you very much.”

Steve’s turn to roll his eyes.

Nahele smiles.

“Remember what I told you,” Steve pulls Nahele into a hug.

Nahele hugs him back, tight, and nods. “I will.” 

And then Nahele is leading Grace and Charlie outside, both of them turning to look at Steve one last time before they walk through the glass door. 

Steve turns to Danny.

“There are a million things I want to say to you right now but I can’t even thinking of one,” Danny whispers. 

“Tell me when I’m back,” Steve whispers back. 

“I promise myself I wouldn’t cry but goddamn it, Steven…” Danny’s voice breaks, and he lets his head fall forward just below Steve’s collar bone.

“I know, Danno, I know,” Steve says, lifting his hand and running his fingers through Danny’s hair.

Danny straightens himself a minute or so later, swallowing. “Just…come back.”

Steve nods, leaning in to give Danny another kiss. It isn’t heated or desperate, it’s just a simple press of lips together, tentative, gentle with just the right amount of pressure. And when they pull apart, their foreheads are touching and they’re breathing each other in.

“Call, text…whenever you can. Let us know you’re okay,” Danny pleads. 

“Every chance I get,” Steve nods.

"I love you, Steven McGarrett-Williams."

"I love you too, Daniel McGarrett-Williams."

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

Steve shakes his head. “Saying goodbye here is already hard enough, Over there…it probably would be impossible.”

Danny nods, understanding. “I’ll pick up your car tomorrow.”

“I have to go,” Steve says but makes no effort to move.

“You have to go.”

And it takes everything in Steve to take the first step away from Danny, slightly bending down to lift his duffle. “I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

“I’m counting on it, soldier.” 

With a final glance, Steve turns around, walking towards his truck and drops his bag in the open compartment. He takes a deep breath, looking over his shoulder to wave at Danny. Danny waves back. He climbs into the driver’s seat and turns on the ignition, puts the car in drive and lightly pushes on the gas pedal. He looks at Danny through the rearview mirror, and Steve starts swirling his wedding ring around his finger. He doesn’t wipe away the tear that rolls down his cheek. 

And Danny…it takes every inch of control Danny has not to race to the Camaro and follow Steve. He keeps his eyes on the road until the Silverado takes a right turn, and Steve is out out of his sight. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after Steve leaves. Steve's first phone call. Danny has a talk with Grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it took me forever to update, the last few weeks of uni were so hectic and lots of papers and exams! But it's finally here. And I'm on winter break so I can write more regularly now. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Danny tries to keep things normal at home, or at least as close to normal as it gets. Steve’s absence had been felt from the moment he left, and now, having settled the kids into bed and promised little Charlie that Steve is going to be fine, Danny stops in the doorway of his and Steve’s bedroom. It’s quiet, too quiet and it sends a icy shiver down Danny’s back. He closes his eyes, and he can hear Steve, expects Steve to wrap his arms around him from behind, to kiss his temple and hold him close. But of course none of that happens because Steve is gone. Danny clears his throat and takes one more look at the bed, it’s big and no doubt, cold. As it’s going to remain until Steve comes back. His mind made up, Danny turns on his heels and goes downstairs. He flops down on the couch with the T.V. on, and that’s where he sleeps.

Being the leader of Five-0 is completely different than being the second in command, Danny realizes, and he’s going to give Steve an earful about it when he’s back. The SEAL made it look so easy, so effortless but in reality, it’s hell. Danny’s not used to his phone ringing every morning, he turns to look for Steve as it starting ringing, only to remember it’s his own phone. Right, he’s the head of Five-0. Until Steve’s back, that is. But no one knows what state Steve’s going to be when he’s back. If he’s back. So as much as he hates it with everything in him, Danny knows there’s a possibility he’s the head of Five-0 period. 

Danny tries to not notice the empty space that usually holds the Silverado. Sometimes, as Danny is currently learning, Steve had to go into the office before every else, and only now Danny gets why. So the Silverado would be parked in Steve’s designated spot, right next to Danny’s. But the Silverado isn’t parked. It’s parked in front of their house. Because Steve is gone.

Danny isn’t sure how he’s going to make it through without his head exploding. Steve’s been gone one day and Danny’s already seeing him everywhere. 

He looks up to the sound of his office door opening, and feels a presence standing in the doorway. He glances to his side to see Chin standing there, arms folded over his chest.

“You got something?”

“Computer’s still working,” Chin answers, stepping into the space.

Danny nods, eyes focused on his own laptop, typing away. Every ten seconds or so, his eyes travel to one of the pictures sitting on his desk, a picture of him and Steve, Charlie sitting on Steve’s shoulders and Grace standing between them. They’re all smiling.

Chin doesn’t miss the movement. 

“He’s going to be fine, he’s Steve,” Chin tries to comfort the detective.

Danny sighs, leans back against his desk chair and stops typing. “That’s both comforting and worrying. He’s got ninja skills, so he knows how to act and react and solve problems and all that, but he’s _also_ _Steve_ which undoubtedly means he’s going to do something rash and stupid.”

“He’s got you and the kids now.”

“I keep telling myself that, and yes, he’s been way more careful since we got together but it’s in his blood, Chin, in his DNA and sometimes I’m afraid he can’t help it,” Danny shakes his head. “I just want him back in one piece, for the kids’ sake, for my sake.” 

“Have you heard from him at all?”

“Not since I watched him drive away,” Danny sighs.

It’s been four days. 

“Trying not to freak out, it hasn’t even been a week yet. He’s probably just settling in and busy with getting to know his team and all that, but tell that to my paranoid head.”

“He’ll call you as soon as he can, don’t worry too much. How are the kids holding up?”

“Charlie asks about him every night after story time, Grace doesn’t bring him up. Grace doesn’t say much of anything, not since Steve left. She’s still trying to wrap her head around it.”

“We all are, bruh,” Chin sighs.

*****

The first call from Steve comes in a few hours later, Danny’s still sitting by his desk, attempting to get some work done while Chin and Kono run down a lead.

Danny’s phone rings, he takes a peak at it and realizes it’s an unknown number. His heartbeat picks up in his chest.

With a shaky hand, he touches the answer button. He doesn’t say anything.

After a few seconds. “Danny?” He hears over the static. 

“Steve. Oh God, Steve,” Danny says, exhaling the breath he was holding. 

“It’s me, I’m here,” Steve replies. 

“Are you okay, babe?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It took us a while to get here and we were settling in.”

“Where’s _here_?” Danny tries.

“Danny…I’d tell you if I can but it’s—”

“Classified, yeah, wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Steve chuckles. “How are you and the kids? How’s everything?”

“As good as can be expected, I guess. The kids say they love you and Charlie asks about you every night. Grace kind of just….distanced herself from everything. I want to give her space but I want her to talk to me so I don’t know what to do about that.”

“I think you should tell her that, she’ll understand and she’ll come to you when she’s ready,” Steve suggests, the volume of his voice increasing and decreasing. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you, babe. You leaving paralyzed my brain.”

“I’m here to kickstart it again. We’re fine, Danno, everything’s going to be fine.” 

“We caught a case,” Danny says.

Danny spent the next ten minutes catching up Steve on everything that happened in the four days he’s been gone. Five-0, the kids, but Danny most definitely did not tell Steve that he’s been sleeping on the couch since he left. 

Some chatter in the background and then. “I have to go, Danny. Briefing time. Time to unveil what we’ll be doing. Tell Chin and Kono and Lou I said hi and kiss the kids for me and tell them I love them. I love you. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can.”

Hurt pangs across Danny’s chest, aching to tell Steve to stay, wanting to hear nothing but his voice… “I will. I love you too, babe. Stay safe.” 

And then Steve’s gone.

Steve sighs, putting the phone down and running his hand through his short hair. 

“Tough call?” Steve hears from behind him.

He turns and sees Freddie Hart standing there, his long time friend since they went through BUD/S training together and fought two tours along side each other, having each other’s backs. They’re brothers in every sense of the word. 

“And relieving. That was Danny.”

“Ah,” Freddie gives an understanding nods. “He was worried.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“I imagine he wasn’t too happy about this.”

Steve shakes his head. “He wasn’t. But after the first wave of anger passed, he understood. He hates that I’m here, but there’s nothing I could have done. I couldn't say no. Charlie is too young to full grasp it, I think, Grace, she’s taking it hard. I wish there were something I could do. I miss them all already.”

“Well, let’s get this done so you can see your man and kids again, so we both can go home,” Freddie extends his hand to Steve.

“You got it,” Steve takes Freddie’s hand and lets him pull him up. Together they walk towards the briefing room. 

“Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, Lieutenant Hart…”

*****

Danny gets home and finds Charlie and Nahele playing with Charlie’s legos, building things and giggling together. Grace is lying on the couch, not paying attention to them, with her phone stuck to her face, probably texting her friends. 

“Daddy!” Charlie calls out when he notices Danny, getting to his feet and running towards him.

“Hey, buddy!” Danny wraps his arms around his son. “Did you have a good day?”

Charlie nods. “Me and Nahele played with legos and cars and Army men!” 

“That’s great, buddy,” Danny smiles. “What about you, monkey? Did you have a good day?”

Grace shrugs. “It was okay.”

Danny looks at Nahele, who slightly shakes his head in response. 

“Nahele makes good pancakes,” Charlie adds, unaware of the silent conversation the men were having. 

“Does he?”

Charlie nods. 

“Looks like you’ve gotten yourself a morning job there, Nahele,” Danny chuckles. 

“I’m more than happy to deliver,” Nahele nods. 

“Steve called,” Danny announces. 

Grace’s phone goes forgotten at Danny’s words. She quickly sits up, putting her phone to the side. “Really?”

“Yeah, he called while I was at work,” he nods.

“How is he?” Nahele asks.

“He’s fine, settling in, but he couldn’t tell me where he was. But he’s alright, he’s getting his mission and hopefully he’ll finish it and he’ll be home soon. He told me to kiss you and to tell you he loves you.”

“Papa?” Charlie’s eyes go wide.

“Yeah, buddy, he’s fine,” Danny ruffles Charlie’s blond hair, identical to his.

“That’s good,” Nahele smiles. 

Danny nods, remembering what Steve told him. 

“Grace, can I talk to you for a second?” 

Grace nods, getting up and following Danny into the kitchen.

Danny could hear Nahele suggesting to Charlie that they build something new. 

“I know that Steve going away is hard on you, it’s hard on all of us. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about it, you can talk to me about anything. I’m not going to pressure you into talking, I know you need time to take it all in, but I’m here when you’re ready.”

“I’m just…so worried about him,” Grace’s voice is low and sad. 

“I know, baby, I am too.”

“I think about him all the time.”

“I do too, monkey,” Danny says, pulling Grace into his arms.

She returns the hug, hugging her father so tightly. “I hope I can talk to him soon.”

*****

“He really is okay?” Nahele asks Danny once Grace and Charlie are in bed.

Danny nods. “He sounded tired but he’s okay, I can tell he wants to finish the mission so he can come home. He was heading to briefing before we ended the call, so he could very much be on the mission right now.”

“I thought you said the couch wasn’t comfortable.”

“It’s not…”

“I imagine your back hurts.”

“It…you saw,” Danny sighs.

“That you’ve been sleeping on the couch since Steve left? I only saw it once, but I know it’s been happening every night.” 

“It’s just…”

“You don’t need to explain, I understand, I get it. What I’m trying to say is that I should take the couch and you should sleep in the guest bedroom. You’re already dealing with enough as it is, sore and strained muscle won’t help matters,” Nahele says.

Danny’s face softens. “That’s very nice of you but you’re staying in the guest bedroom. I’m fine, really.” 

Danny tries to sleep in his and Steve’s bed that night. He doesn’t get a lot of sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Details of Steve’s mission, memories from Steve and Freddie’s training days, and another phone call from Steve to Danny and the kids. A beach outing and everyone is there for Danny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it took me a while to post this chapter, I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with it in the beginning and it took me some time to write it how I imagined and to be satisfied with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

The mission briefing took a few hours, leaving Steve and Freddie to get a good night’s sleep and report at 0400 hours sharp to Go the mission. Not that Steve was able to sleep, not well anyway. He keeps twisting and turning, he might have gotten an hour or two of restless sleep until he gives up and just lies awake, starring at the ceiling and thinking about Danny and the kids. 

“I can practically hear you thinking,” he hears Freddie’s sleepy voice from the bunk next to his.

“Sorry,” Steve sighs.

“Don’t worry about it. Can’t sleep?”

“No, not really, not that I expected to,” Steve says.

“Same here, tried to shut off my head but here we are,” Freddie replies, as he starts to sit up in his bed.

“You know this reminds me a lot of us during training, especially Hell Week,” Steve thinks back.

Freddie chuckles. “Yeah, me too. You saved me…from myself,” he says, using the exact words Steve told him all those years ago.  
Steve turns his head to face Freddie.

“Commander White was busting my balls, pushing me over, pushing me hard and I almost rang that bell three times. I almost left the Navy. You stopped me.”

“I remember,” Steve nods. “I also told you that your father is proud of you.”

“If you hadn’t done that, man, I don’t even know where I’d be right now,” Freddie confesses. 

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Steve smiles. “Tell me, your little girl, she’s about eight now?”

“She turns nine in a couple months,” Freddie beams.

“When we get this mission done and we’re back home, we should all get together, introduce her and Charlie to each other,” Steve suggests. 

“That’s a plan I’m on board with,” Freddie agrees. 

“I don’t think either of us is getting sleep so might as well start to get ready,” Steve dangles his legs over the side of the bed, getting to his feet.

Freddie follows. 

Their Commanding Officers told Steve and Freddie that this was a rescue mission. A group of soldiers were being held by hostiles and their job was to get in there, quietly and efficiently, and get the men out of there. Straightforward, but not so simple. Steve and Freddie were handpicked to lead the mission, as they were the best men for it, especially with their background and how well they work together. They were tasked to select another four men to their team, making them six men in total. They were rescuing twelve men. 

They had received intel that the SEAL team was being held in a remote location, a secluded area in the mountains, where the only way in or out is by helicopter. Deciding that directly dropping Steve and his team like that will take away from the element of surprise they have going for them, so they’ll drop them off where they can’t be detected and the team will hike up the mountain. 

They supplied Steve and Freddie with maps of the mountain, thermal readings, blueprints of the mansion within the mountain where the SEALs are being held, all which Steve and Freddie had studied and came out with an extraction plan. That being said, they also came up with alternative plans in case the original doesn’t work or something goes wrong. 

Steve looks at himself in the mirror, evaluating, calculating. He’s worn his Navy uniform plenty of times before, but it didn’t feel like this. It wasn’t because of this. He wasn’t active when he wore this, but he is now. And knowing that he’s heading on a mission, and being in the context, in the uniform, it’s almost too overwhelming. It isn’t talk anymore, it isn’t in the future anymore, it’s the present, it’s the reality. 

He remembers what this was like before, before Danny, before Five 0…he had thought he could do this forever, the adrenaline of wearing his uniform and going over the mission briefing in his head, eager to get on the helicopter or ride in humvee. He had thought all he was going to have was the Navy, his SEAL team members, but then he met Danny. And now, now it’s nothing like that. There’s no adrenaline, there’s no rush, there’s only longing, longing for his husband and his kids, longing to go back home, a home he never thought was going to be _home_ again. He found his home in Danny, and he can’t wait to go back, to see those blue eyes, run his hand through blond locks, soft and fluffy before Danny applies his gel, be held by those strong arms…

“Damn, looking sharp, McGarrett,” Freddie voices, breaking Steve from his thoughts.

“You don’t look bad yourself, Hart,” Steve teases.

Freddie chuckles. “I just called Kelly, you should call Danny.” 

Steve swallows, and nods. He makes his way to the communications room, and takes a deep breath and dials Danny’s number.

“Williams,” Danny answers are a few rings.

“Danno,” Steve says.

“Steve,” Danny breathes. “You okay?”

“Yeah, we’re heading out in a bit so I wanted to call you. How are you and the kids?”

“We’re doing alright, don't worry about us. We just had dinner and they’re up brushing their teeth,” Danny replies.

“God, I miss you so much,” Steve sighs.

“We miss you too, babe. Get this mission done and come back to us in one piece,” Danny tries to lighten the mood but it comes out more emotional than he intended, his voice almost breaking. 

Danny recovers quickly when the kids appear on the staircase. “Come here guys, Steve’s on the phone.”

“Papa!” Charlie exclaims, dashing over to his father.

Danny chuckles. “Hang on, Charlie’s pulling the phone out of my hand.”

“Papa!” Charlie says again when he has the phone over his ear.

Steve beams. “Hey, buddy! What have you been up to?”

“Danno bought me new legos but I don’t want to open them until you’re back so we can play with them together,” Charlie responds.

Steve’s heart pangs in his chest and his eyes start to water. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breathes, listening to the little boy catch him up on what he’s been doing. 

“Are you coming back soon?” Charlie asks, his voice turning low and sad.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can, I love you buddy,” Steve promises. 

“Okay, I love you too. Gracie wants to talk to you,” Charlie says, handing the phone to his sister.

Danny leans down and kisses the top of Charlie’s head.

“Are you okay?” Grace immediately asks.

“I’m fine, Gracie, don’t worry about me.”

“I think about you all the time,” Grace chokes up.

“Me too, baby, me too. You looking after Danno and Charlie for me?”

“As best I could, he’s stubborn, you know that,” Grace gives Danny a small smile. 

Steve chuckles. “That I do know, and I trust you so much, I’m glad you’re looking after them,” Steve says.

“Come back to us,” Grace pleads.

“As soon as I can.”

“I love you,” Grace sniffs.

“I love you so much,” Steve replies. 

Then Danny takes the phone. Steve can hear Danny saying “How about you go upstairs and start getting ready for bed? I’ll be there soon.”

“Hey,” Danny sighs.

“Hey yourself, everyone else doing alright?”

“Nahele’s been hanging around a lot lately, which I’m grateful for. Both to keep an eye on him and he helps out with Charlie a lot.”

“And for him to keep an eye on you,” Steve reminds him.

Danny chuckles. “Yeah, I guess. As Grace said, come back to us.”

Steve hears someone yell “Wheel’s up in fifteen!” 

He sighs. “I have to go, don’t worry if you don’t hear from me for a while, okay?”

“Babe, I always worry.”

“I know, but I’ll call you first chance I get,” Steve vows. 

“Take care of yourself, I love you.”

“I will, I love you, too.”

And then once again, Steve is gone and a cold never-ending dial tone replaces his warm voice.

Danny sighs, placing his phone on the table in front of him and goes to tuck the kids into bed.

*****

The weekend starts and Danny calls Chin in the morning and tells him he’s taking the day off in case they get a case, wanting to spend it with the kids by the beach. What he doesn’t tell Chin is that he didn’t get much sleep so he’s tired and not focused and all he can think about is Steve and his mission. Nahele drops by a little while after they all wake up and makes his pancakes, enlisting the help of Grace and Charlie as Danny’s mind drifts further towards Steve.

Danny steps onto the lanai, eyeing the two chairs by the beach, the ones he and Steve had so easily fallen into countless times before, watching the waves, watching the kids run around, him watching Steve swim alone, with Charlie, with Charlie and Grace…and he can’t move, he can’t seem to get his feet to move. So instead, he pulls out one of the chairs around the dinning table, sets it close to the glass door and sits down, taking a sip from his coffee. He can hear Nahele and Grace talking, Charlie giggling and then Grace calls him for breakfast thirty minutes later. 

Danny sits with Nahele, Grace and Charlie as they excitedly plan the day ahead; playing ball by the beach, swimming, paddleboarding. Danny nods along, only half paying attention to what they’re saying. Once they’re done, Grace and Charlie dash upstairs to get ready while Nahele starts to clean up, Danny staring into the distance. 

Nahele pauses, running his eyes over Danny. “Hey, you okay?”  
“Huh?” Danny’s head snaps towards the younger man. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

Nahele sighs. “You haven’t been with us all morning.”

“Yeah…”

“He’s going to be fine, he’s Mister SuperSEAL.”

Danny gives Nahele a small sad smile. “Yeah, thanks, kid.” 

“Now go change, you’re sitting outside with us, no arguing. I’ll clean up here.”

Danny nods and does as he’s told.

Chin and Kono arrive an hour later, and Danny doesn’t mask his surprise as they walk towards the beach.

“What…”

“Nahele called, said you could use some people,” Kono smiles, giving Danny a hug.

“We haven't caught a case, but we got it covered in case we get a call,” Chin adds, also giving Danny a hug. “Lou has a thing with his family, but he’ll be joining us for dinner.”

“Thanks, guys, really,” Danny smiles at them.

“Of course, we’re ohana, bruh,” Kono gives Danny’s shoulder a supportive squeeze.

“Uncle Chin! Aunt Kono!” Charlie bursts out when he spots them, running towards the adults. 

He gives them both hugs and then he’s saying they should come play with him and he’s dragging them out towards the water by their hands. And then he turns back and looks at his father. “You too, Danno!”

Danny nods. “I’ll go inside and get the sand toys, I’ll be right back.”

He watches them all for a few seconds and then heads back into the house. He pauses, the silence deafening and the house still. Steve would be running around, from one place to the next, speaking as he goes, his voice loud and proud and Danny can see it all, can hear Steve but Steve isn’t there. 

He somehow gets his feet to work but then he stops by a picture of him, Steve, Grace and Charlie hanging on the wall. They’re all smiling, Steve is standing behind Grace with his arms around her while Danny’s carrying Charlie and they’re all happy. Danny remembers that day, his heart clutches in his chest at the memories because he wants them back, he wants Steve back, he wants them all to have those same smiling faces again. 

The chatter outside brings him back to reality, as he quickly locates Charles’s sand toys and clear his throat, momentarily closing his eyes to keep the tears at back. Once he recollects himself, he rejoins the others outside. 

The one thought repeating over and over in Danny’s head as his feet sink into the sand with each step: _Steve should be here_. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More insight into Steve's mission. Danny and Nahele have a conversation heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been ages and I apologize! This semester has been so hectic--I was taking five practical classes so I was always either audio recording or filming and then audio editing or video editing or writing scripts and I was also writing a novel manuscript, it was crazy! I didn't have time to write and when I did, I had writer's block. But the semester is over now and I can get back to this story! I received a few comments asking me not to abandon this story and don't worry, I won't. I really like it and the response has been incredible and I can't wait to get back to it! 
> 
> Speaking of, this chapter is short but I really wanted to get something out for you guys. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

It’s dark when Steve and Freddie leave basecamp, wearing their uniforms and carrying their gear. All six SEALs jog in a straight line, Steve in the lead, followed by Freddie and then the four men. They quickly pile up in the awaiting helicopter, Steve takes one last look at their Commanding Officers, once of them giving him a nod and then Steve’s jumping into the copter. It takes off moments later, whirling towards their drop zone. 

Steve feels someone squeeze his shoulder and he turns around to see Freddie giving him a small smile. He returns it. Steve’s heart is racing, he can feel it against his Kevlar, and he’s pretty sure it’s not the adrenaline of the mission. It’s his fear that something would go wrong and he’d never see his husbands and kids again. He shakes his head, expelling the thought. It’s not the time to think like that. Danny’s waiting for him. Grace is waiting for him. Charlie is waiting for him. Nahele is waiting for him. His team is waiting for him. And Steve can’t—won’t—let them down.

“Touch down in five minutes,” the pilot yells to the SEALs. 

Steve takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

The ground is soft underneath his boots, taking quick and light steps to find cover. They’re in an open area, only hidden by trees and large bushes that surround them. They fall into formation, keeping their eyes on each other as well as around them. Steve senses movement coming from somewhere near, so he signals for the men to stop moving and they all freeze in a second. Steve uses hand movement to communicate with Freddie, and ever so slowly, Freddie goes in to the direction which Steve pointed out. 

The foreign voices get louder and louder by each passing moment, and the men are still as statues, careful not to make any sound and not to give their positions away. If they do, well…

Steve motions for his team is duck, disappearing between the bushes and holding their breath. The soldiers, speaking a language Steve is only partly familiar with, pass by, carrying their riffles and smoking cigarettes. 

“Do you know what they were talking about?” Freddie whispers when Steve deems it okay.

“All that I gathered is that they were talking about American soldiers,” he replies.

“So we’re in the right place.” 

“That we are,” Steve nods. “Lets move.” 

*****

Danny couldn’t sleep. He keeps twisting and turning and staring up at the ceiling. Knowing that Steve is on the mission is something, but knowing that Steve is _on the mission_ is something else. He can’t lie down anymore, so he gets up, walking aimlessly around the bedroom. He checks on Grace, and then on Charlie, adjusting the cover that’s fallen off the little boy and to the ground. He watches Charlie sleep for a few minutes, before turning on his heels and going downstairs. Nahele’s asleep on the couch, lying on his back with his arm covering his eyes, the blanket covering him until his waist. 

Danny retreats into the kitchen, grabbing a beer and heading out into the lanai. He sits on his chair and tries not to notice how empty is feels, the chair next to him void and cold. A breeze blows by, and he can almost hear Steve’s voice in it. He gives in, taking a glance at Steve’s chair and his heart clenches. He just wants his husband back. He takes a sip from his cold beer.

He doesn’t know how long he’s sitting there, but he looks up to see Nahele setting a chair on his other side and dropping into it. 

“Hey,” the young adult says, holding a bottle of water.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Nahele shakes his head. “I can’t sleep much either.”

Danny nods. 

“Saw the mania light switched on, figured you’d be out here,” Nahele goes on. 

“Yeah, the breeze is nice,” Danny takes another gulp.

“It is,” Nahele agrees. “I…never thanked him, at least not properly. I mean, I did an awful thing and he gave me a second chance.”

Danny turns to face Nahele, his brown eyes twinkling in the moonlight. 

“He took me under his wing, he saved my life in every sense of the word and I…couldn’t find the words to express how I feel about it. He gave me a family, and I just…I’m not the best at talking about my feelings, you know,” Nahele sniffs. 

“Neither is Steve,” Danny says.

Nahele chuckles. “But now, I’m scared that I won’t…”

“Hey, no, don’t think like that. I know how hard this is, but you can’t think like that. And he knows, Steve knows how much you appreciate what he did for you, and that you love him. And he loves you, too. I know he knows. So just, stay strong, and hang in there,” Danny expresses, reaching out to squeeze Nahele’s shoulder in support. 

*****

Their entry point is compromised. There appears to have been chances between when they received the maps and when they arrive at the compound. Also, they didn't know it was a compound.

“This complicates things,” Freddie grunts.

“Things weren’t easy to begin with,” Steve sighs. “We have to come up with another plan, this one isn’t going to work. See how they’ve barricaded the entrance?”

Freddie nods.

“We have to find another way in.”

“I thought there was no other way in,” Freddie retorts. 

“Yeah, well, we’ll have to get creative,” Steve says before he starts moving. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Steve and Freddie's mission. Steve is a self-sacrificing doofus. Danny gets a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm starting to write more for this story and I missed writing it so much! This chapter isn't as long as my previous chapters but I wanted to post more frequently, the next chapters are going to be lengthy now that summer vacation started. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Danny and Nahele work together to get the kids ready for school, packing their lunch and serving them breakfast. Nahele decides to go for a run while Danny goes to drop them off at school, both of them returning around the same time. Nahele goes to take a shower and Danny settles in his room, in need of a powernap. He manages to sleep for a couple hours, and finds Nahele sitting on the couch watching television when he returns downstairs. 

“You okay?” Nahele asks, looking over his shoulder and finding Danny at the bottom of the staircase.

Danny nods, but something inside him is telling him that no, he’s not okay. Something is wrong, very wrong. His mind immediately goes to Steve, wondering if his husband is safe, if the mission is going according to plan, and worrying what Steve would do if the plan was a bust. There’s a growing pit in his stomach, and it’s making him nauseous. He decided to step onto the lanai to breathe in some fresh air. 

He’s right, though.

Something _is_ wrong.

*****

“I knew you were crazy, but never this crazy, Steve!” 

“Freddie, it’s the only way!”

“Like hell it is! And even if it were the only way, I’m ever agreeing to this insane plan of yours!”

“We need to get those men out of there!”

“And I’m not going to sacrifice you to do that!” 

“I can take care of myself!” 

Freddie grabs hold of the front of Steve’s vest, closing his fist tightly around the rough material. “Listen to me very carefully, McGarrett, I am not leaving you behind. I am not letting you lure them out to give us a clear path. I am _not_ telling your husband you were being a self-sacrificing idiot. You’ve never once left me behind, you always made sure I returned home and I will make damn sure that you return home, too. That we both do.” 

“There’s no other way,” Steve breathes.

“We’ll find another way. We have to. We don’t trade lives, Steve.” 

Steve sighs. “Okay, fine. Lets camp for the night.” 

Freddie nods. 

They scout the area and find a hidden cave overlooking a waterfall. They set up camp, the sound of the rushing water covering their own voices and movements. They wash up and settle down. They decide to move back in at the break of dawn, try to figure out a new strategy for their entry.

Steve doesn’t fall asleep, he stays up until the rest of his team and passed out, and then he slips a folded letter into Freddie’s bag. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers and leans back, he closes his eyes but he doesn’t sleep.

As planned, they get up before the break of dawn and they start getting ready to head back out and survey the target. 

“Ready to do this?” Steve asks.

“We still don’t have a plan,” Freddie replies.

“We’ll have one,” Steve nods. “Let’s move out.”

The numbers of the familiar look of soldiers holding riffles and smoking cigarettes increase as the SEALs close in on their location, always keeping an eye out. Freddie was in the lead, Steve the last man, keeping watch from there. They convene every now and then and assess the situation before taking their positions again. 

They’re moving for a while when one of the other team members taps Freddie on his shoulder. Freddie signals for everyone to stop moving and turns to face the SEAL.

“What is it?”

“McGarrett, he’s gone.”

Freddie’s eyes go wide. “What do you mean _gone_?”

“I looked behind me and he wasn’t there,” he shakes his head.

Freddie squeezes his eyes shut and lets his chin fall against his chest in defeat. “That stubborn son of a bitch.”

“What?”

“He’s going to lure the soldiers out to clear an entry path for us. God _damn it!_ ” 

“What are we going to do?”

Freddie takes a deep breath in and shakily lets it out. “We stick to the mission while keeping an eye on McGarrett. But hear me, all of you, we are _not_ leaving here without him.” 

The sounds of shot being fired direct the team’s attention towards the mountain. Then the men are yelling and scrambling to their feet, running away from the SEALs and into the opposite direction.

“Steve’s in motion, let’s go!” Freddie calls out.

They shuffle into formation and with their own riffles drawn, they jog towards the mountain, all of them wary of any men still guarding the mountain.

There are a few men around, which the team quickly disarm.

Freddie looks into the direction where Steve was and where all the soldiers ran after him, and he sees nothing. All he sees is the rustling of the trees still in motion from the soldiers’ rampage. 

Steve is dodging bullets left and right, taking cover behind trees and moving to fire off some of his own bullets. He wants to keep them away from the mountain for as long as he can, but he knows that if he goes far they’ll eventually stop, send a few guys after him, and the rest will return to the mountain. His team will be outnumbered if that happens. So Steve makes sure to stay ahead of them, but not by too much. Makes sure he’s always in their sight so they feel like they’re getting closer to him while they’re getting further away from the mountain. 

His plan is to circle the area and by the time he goes back the team would have been out, but he doesn’t know how long it will take them inside and exactly he’ll get away from the men once he rejoins his team. His heart is racing, and he’s heaving but he can’t afford to stop now. He pushes past the burn settling in his legs, pushes past his aching muscles screaming at him to stop. 

He sees the mountain, he sees his team exiting. He counts eleven men, that’s only half of the soldiers being held hostage. He frowns, and unconsciously slows down, unaware that the men behind him are closing in on him. He catches Freddie’s eyes, his best friend’s eyes go wide and a second later Steve hears the sound of someone loading a riffle, most likely aimed at him. 

“Drop your weapon,” a heavy voice orders him.

Steve does as he’s told, raising his arms in the air. 

The men haven’t noticed Freddie and the rest of the team, their eyes focused on Steve.

Steve keeps his eyes locked on Freddie’s, and very gently shakes his head. Only Freddie would notice the move. _Don’t do it_.

The look on Freddie’s face translates to _I won’t leave without you. I’m coming back for you._

Freddie’s face is the last thing Steve sees before a black hood covers his face. 

Freddie, the team and the rescued men return to the camp they set up the previous night. They take care of the rescued men as best as they could, they dress their wounds and give them food and water. Freddie gets on his satellite phone and calls the commanding officer. 

“Sir,” Freddie says as soon as he picks up.

“Hart, the mission is a success?”

“Not exactly, sir,” Freddie sighs, and explains to the CO what happened. 

“We’re sending the helo back, you’re all to return to base camp immediately.”

“But sir, what about McGarrett and the rest of the men?” Freddie asks.

“We’ll discuss that when you return.”

“Sir—”

“That’s an order, Lieutenant Hart.”

“Yes, sir.”

*****

Danny had just said goodnight to Grace and Charlie and was grabbing a beer and dropping on the couch next to Nahele when his phone rings in his pocket. He places the cold bottle on the table in front of them and pulls his phone out, accepting the call.

“Hello?”

“Danny? It’s Freddie.”

Danny’s throat goes dry. “Hey, Freddie.”

That catches Nahele’s attention, and he turns to look at Danny.

Danny gets up and walks towards the lanai, holding the phone tightly in his hand. He was about to ask if everything was okay, but Freddie’s calling him and not Steve, so obviously everything isn’t okay.

“Listen, Danny…”

“What happened? Just…tell me,” Danny says and then holds his breath. 

“They captured him.”

“So he’s alive?”

“As far as I know, yeah he is.”

“What happened?”

“It’s classified, Danny. I can’t answer that.”

“Then what can you tell me?” Danny pleads.

Freddie sighs. “All I can tell you is that I’m going back for him, I’m not leaving here without him, I promise.”

Danny nods, then realizes that Freddie can’t see him. “Yeah, okay. Just, keep me updated, please.”

“I promise,” Freddie gives him his word.

“Okay,” Danny’s voice shakes. “Be careful.”

“I will, Danny.”

Danny doesn’t notice that he was standing on the beach, the water inches away from his naked feet. 

“What’s wrong?” Nahele’s voice comes from behind him.

Danny takes a deep breath, holds it for a few moments and then blows it out, trying to keep the tears from slipping. 

“Danny?”

“Yeah, um…That was Freddie. Something went wrong and…they have Steve.”

Nahele’s heart drops. “What are they going to do to bring him back?”

“Freddie couldn’t tell me that but he promised he’ll go back for Steve,” Danny wipes a tear that escapes his eye.

“He has to bring Steve back, he has to!” 

Danny quickly turns and faces Nahele, the young adult’s eyes already watery and wide. “Hey, hey, deep breaths, in and out. Slowly. That’s it, that’s it. He will, he’ll bring Steve back.”

And then Danny pulls Nahele into his arms, holding him close and Nahele returns the embrace tightly.

Danny doesn’t say anything.

He only prays, _come back to us, Steve_.


End file.
